______________________________________________________________________________________________
“A boy comes to me with a spark of interest, I feed that spark and it becomes a flame, I feed the flame and it becomes a fire, I fed the fire and it becomes a roaring blaze.”
- Cus D’Amato–All time great boxing trainer AND Mike Tyson’s first trainer.
______________________________________________________________________________________________
They brought her to me seeking my help. When she arrived at my gym she walked over to where I was standing, smiled and reached out her hand to greet me. I grabbed her hand, held it tightly, and I asked her “are you the loser they say you are?” She was stunned that these were the first words out of my mouth. She was puzzled and she looked around to check the eyes of the fighter who had brought her to me to see if maybe he might have an explanation for my seemingly strange behavior. Again I asked her “are you the loser they say you are”’…this time she quickly withdrew her hand from mine, her face hardened and I could see my question made her upset… and angry. “Well…are you” I said louder. It was a brutal assault on her sensibilities; she was stunned, standing alone in front of the entire gym that had, by now, stopped to listen to our interaction. Tears immediately began to fill her eyes and she must have thought to herself “surly they did not bring me here for this.”Again I asked, this time with an even harsher colder tone “young lady, are you the loser they say you are?!” By this time she was seething and I could see the wheels turning behind her tears as her anger began to build …but still she said nothing. “We’ll…since you’re not going to answer that question let me ask you this one….what are you doing here …what do you want form me?” Now she was totally confused. She was under the impression she was coming there to interview me to see if she wanted me to train her and before she could get out even a single word I was hitting her with this. She stood there…speechless. “Well…I’m waiting” I said. “Waiting for what” she said finally? “Why are you saying these things to me” she asked. I did not respond to her question and instead I asked her again …”What do you want from me?” “Nothing I guess” she said and she grabbed her jacket and quickly turned to walk away.
“So it is true” I said. Hearing my words she froze in her tracks and slowly turned back to look at me glaring…had her eyes been a gun she would have shot me dead. “What’s true” she said…as the tears nowbegan to flow freely down her face as her anger boiled over. “Why do you keep asking me that…who the hell are you to say that to me…you don’t know me…why don’t you just go screw yourself old man” she yelled. “What did they tell you about me before they brought you here” I asked. “Lawrence (one of my fighters and the one who brought her to me) told me that you were a great coach and that you could make me a champion… but I guess he was wrong… and besides he forgot to tell me what a total asshole you are” she said. “Well…don’t you want to know” I said. “Know what” she said. “Whether I can make you a champion or not” I said. “We’ll… can you” she asked. “I don’t know…that all depends on you…are you the loser they say you are” I asked again. “I’M NOT A LOSER….STOP SAYING THAT TO ME!” she yelled. “Do you want to be a champion” I asked. “Of course” she said. “Are you willing to pay the price” I asked. “That depends” she said. “Then the answer is no…I can’t make you a champion” I said. “Why not” she asked. “Because you’re not willing to pay the price” I replied.“I said it depends” she retorted. “I know what you said …but the price is always too high for those who need to know how much” I answered. “Then YES, I’m willing to pay whatever price you ask” she said. “Then the answer is yes, I can make you a champion…now… come and sit by me and let me tell what it will take.”
In less than a year we were fighting for her first championship.
No price too high…whatever it takes! That’s a very powerful narrative(belief system). That’s the belief system we teach in the gym. For those in the earlystages of their careers that’s a very powerful narrative for them to adopt.
___________________________________________________________________________________________
“We choose to go to the moon. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skill, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win…”
- John F. Kennedy-1962
____________________________________________________________________________________________
What is a narrative? A narrative is a belief system about what’s possible. As I have observed in both business and in sports a key to being a powerful leader is getting other people to replace their belief system with your own. The really great leadersI have known can do this while also making sure that the narrative is also morale and serves both the individual’s goal as well as those of the entire team or organization.Think about it.
As a coach or leader of any team or organization I believe that creating a compelling narrative for your people and around the mission of your organizations is “THE” single most significant thing you can do as a leader to affect the outcome and results. When I have seen the great leaders do it, the power of the narrative allows them to attract the best and brightest to their team or organization, It permeatesthe organization at every level and galvanizes and focuses everyone’s efforts in a single purpose. It helps them to overcome almost any obstacle placed before them, to endure the hardships that destroy their competition and to achieve what others felt previously impossible. It all starts with the narrative you create around yourself, your team and your goals.
A few years back I heard a great story about Steve Jobs, founder of APPLE Computer. At that time Jobs was interviewing potential CEO candidates to work with him (Jobs was Chairman at the time) at APPLE. Apple and Jobs had big plans…very big plans. After a long executive search and many interviews Jobs had settled on John Scully who was, at that time, the then current CEO of PepsiCo. After a series of meetings Jobs and Scully were discussing the opportunity when Scully told Jobs that while he was very flattered to be considered he was just not sure that it was the right move for him at the time. Upon hearing Scully’s comments Jobs paused for a moment then looked at Scully and said… “Do you want to sell sugar water for the rest of your life…or do you want to come with me and change the world.” To which Scully replied “I’m in.” This narrative of “changing the world” was the one Jobs had for himself, his team and for APPLE and it remains the narrative of their entire organization even today…is there any doubt that APPLE has changed the world?
What do you think Scully would have said if Jobs had had a less powerful or inspiring narrative…such as…”come with me and let’s build a really good computer together?” That sounds very different doesn’t it? What inner dialogue springs to mind when you hear it? Not very compelling is it…at least not if you’re looking for a strong CEO. But, “come with me and let’s change the world”…now that’s powerful. My point is that Jobs set out to change the world, not just build computers, and he created such an authentic and compelling narrative for himself that, when he shared it with others, it allowed him to attract the right people to make APPLE possible…it was not Steve himself…it was the power of his narrative.
Once you have established your credentials and your program getting people to adopt your narrative can be contagious and occur almost instantly. However, when you are new to the role of leader or just establishing your program, team or organization it can be a process and a struggle that will take time.
____________________________________________________________________________________________
“I am the greatest; I said that even before I knew I was.”
- Muhammad Ali
____________________________________________________________________________________________
