Unfortunately, I will not be going to London to fight on the 23rd. I’ve resisted writing because I have mixed feelings about it and I’ve been trying to sort them out. Yes, this is very disappointing so there’s no need to ask. And, yes, it was flattering to have been asked and It was great fun going to NY and meeting the trainers and working out and earning my spot. All of that was great and, despite the delays and setbacks, I was physically ready.
The reasons for my deciding not to go are many and legitimate. Last week we learned that our gym was closing and I’d have no place to train the last few weeks. I also have significant business challenges right now and scheduling conflicts that make going very problematic and my injuries are still with me at times. After workouts, I can’t even bend my arms enough to scratch my forehead. Yes, in totality I have many good reasons for deciding the time is not right; however, despite these reasons there is still something nagging at me..and it’s the truth…the real truth and it hurts.
When I was a younger man I was indestructible and the fire that burned in me was wild and untamed. I loved street fighting and I was reckless and ready to fight at any moment. I relished the chance and built a reputation of seeking out the “big man” or the “tough guy” and measuring myself against him. Win or lose you could count on me to show up and if you wanted to fight me all you need do was ask! Later I found boxing and, while it was too late for me to be really competitive, I became a sparring partner and helped dozens (maybe even hundreds) of fighters get ready for their upcoming bouts. I was always a skilled fighter and it came naturally to me. Eventfully I transitioned into coaching and training…it all just seemed to follow a set course. Over the years I’ve sustained many injuries as a result of fighting. Once my jaw was broken so badly I had to have emergency surgery and was hospitalized for eight days and my mouth was wired shut for nearly twenty weeks…my Mom loved the silence… LOL. I’ve been knocked unconscious and broken my cheekbone, my hand and rib. I’ve won most but lost my share as well and had bloody noses, black eyes and every other imaginable injury associated with fighting. Win or lose no injury ever deterred me. When I really think about it, much of my identify and manhood was wrapped up in being this guy… and I loved it.
So when I really ask myself why I’m not going, it’s not because I don’t want to or that the reason aren’t legitimate. When I really think about it, it’s because the fire that once burned in me, the fire that would have helped me plow my way through all these challenges now seems to not be enough. Yes, I have reasons but the fire that once made it nearly impossible to back down from any fight seems to have begun to go out. I guess it happens to everyone …and in a way it scares me and makes me very sad.
I’ve decide to rest up, heal up and fight one more time this spring when the timing and circumstances are more favorable. At that point the circle will be complete and I’ll be done.
I haven’t lost my fire it just seems to burn for other things now besides me. It burns for my friends and family. It burns for my business and business partners and it burns for the fighters I coach. It seems my fighting days are coming to an end … I have no regrets!
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My fights/ tryout to qualify for the USA Team heading to London in October to fight a team from there has been moved to Sept 12th. Training has been going well. I a little time off this past month to recover and let my elbow heal but I’m picking up the pace now. Sparring has been brutal and this weekend we will really pick it up.
I’ll have some new video soon. I will also be taking a camera to NY and to Gleason’s Gym for the tryouts as well.
Look for my next post to see the new video!!
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Okay, here’s the situation and the reason for my recent delay in updates: I had to make sure of a few things before I wrote again. As you know for the past few weeks I’ve been dealing with a serious elbow injury I sustained while preparing for my fight. I recently consulted with the best Sports Orthopedists in DC and they have recommended surgery. It’s all very disappointing.
As a result I’ve been forced to look a new solution and I’m happy to tell you I have and its even more exciting than I could have hoped for. Below is my new course.
First the bad news: The doctors have recommended surgery for my elbow and I cannot make the fight in August.
Now the good news: The same day I heard this I was invited to come to NY and compete for a position on a USA Masters team that will be fighting a team from London in late October. I posed the question to my doctor and he felt that if I rest my elbow for a month and train smart and under his care and supervision, I could make the fight in competition in September and fight in Oct. I would then have surgery after.
Everything always just seems to work out for me!
Leadership lesson: Disappointment often leads to opportunity.
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Preparing for a fight is a young man’s work and it’s very hard. Hard on my body, hard on my mind, hard on my time and hard on my spirit. Yet, the injuries, pain and sweat have reaffirmed another truth to me and that is this: In every way that I am asked to sacrifice I am rewarded in equal proportion.
This principle is known by many names but it exists everywhere. Newton’s law states that “for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction” but, whatever you call it, I speak to my business clients about it and to the fighters I train every day.
Yet, knowing and preaching this I’m still sometimes prone to look for the shortcuts or take the easy way out. I sometimes dress up this shortcoming by “cloaking” it in catchy phrases like: “working smarter and not harder” or “taking the path of least resistance” all of which I believe in but often use when I’m attempting to sidestep the basic law that I believe in so very much. Why is that..it’s very frustrating to me!
Some days I have to literally drag myself to the gym, often very late at night, and search for it within myself to work hard and focus when my body is telling me it needs rest. Some days I can’t even think about training because of the discomfort I know it will bring. Pain, black eyes, sore hands and sacrifice are my constant companions and the repetitive nature of the training and drills required to “hone” my skills can seem mind-numbing and overwhelming to onlookers…but I go on. Why?
Because at some level I know and understand that as hard as I work there is an equal payoff of some sort I will receive. Maybe my payoff is simply being prepared for battle or maybe it’s the knowledge that I am doing something few men my age can do. Whatever the case, and no matter the outcome, this has been one of the most important trials of my adult life and I already have received a priceless inner peace from the journey.
Right now at my firm (LeaderBridge) is working on an extremely high-profile, highly confidential project proposal that, if accepted, will place LeaderBridge among the top companies of the senior level recruiting and leadership development industry. The competition is extremely reputable, capable and tough, but I feel confident. Why? Because we are bringing the exact same principles to bear on that project as I am with my fight. We work late, almost singularly focused, and we are paying the price of success…no matter what the outcome.
Leadership lesson: The Law of Equitable Exchange does not guarantee specific outcomes but it does guarantee return. Sometimes you just have to look for it…but the exchange is always there.
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I started this because I wanted to find a significant challenge for myself. We’ll, I found it! The training has been brutal, grueling and demanding in every way you can imagine and due to my full day I’m often in the gym at midnight doing my training. I love it!! The challenge I’m facing now is from an injury to my elbow that each time I reinjure in training sends me all the way back to the beginning of the healing process. This makes things very challenging…to say the least. The pain is real and significant and I know pain. Therefore, after careful consideration and consultation with my doctors, I have decided to delay my fight until the first weekend in August.
The delay is frustrating but necessary. I will adapt to the situation and find the opportunity and advantage in it. This is how it goes sometimes and all I can do is keep pressing forward. That is the very nature of this sport…to keep coming forward despite setbacks, pain, injury and sometimes overwhelming opposition. The willingness to keep coming forward in the face of adversity is the full measure of any man.
Leadership lesson: Keep coming forward!
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There is a difference between pain and injury and I know the difference. Right now I have an injury. My elbow is very bad! I’m seeing a new doctor this afternoon and hoping he can prescribe some different medicine to relive the pain. I have lost some feeling in the lower part of my forearm and, obviously, have some sort of nerve damage which is a concern to the doctor. My main focus remains on trying to keep it together for the fight and I will deal with the damage afterwards. I don’t want negative thoughts or doubts creeping into my mind during our training. It’s become in a very big challenge and very worrisome. I will take this to its limit.
Leadership lesson: Ignore your pain and treat your injuries!
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I hyper-extended my left elbow last Tuesday and have been unable to spar or hit the bag or really use it at all in the past few days. I went to a sports orthopedist who diagnosed me with severely strained elbow tendons and recommended I delay the fight. I will not. I’ve been icing it down every night, getting sport massage daily and taking the anti-inflammatory medication the doctor prescribed for me.
In the meantime, I’ve been focused on my cardio, mid-section, head movement and footwork. While it’s always best to spar as much as possible, in this case I need to be creative and overcome the delay and use it to my advantage. I’m trying to do exactly that. I expect to be sparring again by the end of this week.
I’m really feeling the pain right now and trying to keep it together.
Leadership lesson: Sometimes the best laid plans go off track. When that happens we must try and overcome, adapt and improvise.
Weight: 188lbs
Categories: Board Governance · Executive coaching · Executive positions · executive search · leadership
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My fifth sparring session went better although I’m still worried about my endurance. I seem to be slowing far faster than I had in years past and it’s concerning me…a lot. I’ll pick up my cardio even more this week. On the other hand, I was sharper last night than I have been and I am starting to put things together and feel more in control. I’m seeing things much better as well and, overall, I’m feeling better. Since the last sparring session I’ve sparred with two other fighters, each with his own style, and one of them really worked me over until I figured him out. That was quite humbling.
Injury report: Lots of bumps and bruises. My elbows have been very badly hyper-extended and are extremely painful. I am soaking them in a ice bucket in en evenings but they are causing me real trouble….pain is just part of this process and I need to find a way to work around it.
Weight: 189lbs (need 178lbs for tournament)
What’s next: You think you’ve trained your abs before. Watch next time for the abs workout of your nightmares.
Leadership lesson: Progress can be slow and painful…you just have to keep pushing.
Categories: Board Governance · Executive coaching · Executive positions · executive search · leadership
My initial sparring session went well. I went five easy rounds with a local professional left hander (I hate lefthanders), and while I felt slow and rusty there were moments when I could feel my timing and speed returning. It was very encouraging…but painful. When I woke up the next morning my ribs were sore and my face had little knots all over it… I love it! (See the video below)
On Tuesday I was talking to a longtime friend and colleague from the executive search industry who has been following me. He said something that was truly humbling. He called to let me know that he was following me on this journey and that I had inspired him to take action in his own life. He explained that he had just turned fifty and the adventure I was on was really motivating him. He also shared with me that he had shown his son the blog and his son felt it was inspiring and would be following me as well. My friend is a very successful, accomplished and respected executive search professional and his son is a college hockey player, so when he told me I had an impact on them it made me feel really great.
I don’t consider myself anyone special..in fact I feel quit to the contrary and I find it fascinating when clients, friends or colleagues call for my advice or assistance. I guess when I look back over what I have accomplished, I can see a history of taking things to the extreme. Not in the way a skydiver or extreme sports athlete might but in things that push me and my body to the outer-limits on my own capabilities. Overcoming seems to be my thing and somehow as I’ve spent my life pushing into these extremes I’ve picked up a few things and learned how to help others do the same. Maybe that’s why I’ve turned out to be the leader and coach I am.
This journey was originally intended to give me a compelling goal and to let me recapture part of my youth before that segment of my life was truly ended. What I’ve come to see now is that, in a very small way, I may be helping a few other people out there as well and motivating them to take action in their own lives.
Whatever the case, if you’re reading and following along as a friend or just because you think I’m nuts (you would not be alone there), please know that I am honored by your interest.
done
I’ll keep you posted.
Leadership lesson: We lead and inspire by our actions more than our words.
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Concerning my fight in July: I’ve been hitting the gym hard; however, progress has been slow. I start sparring this week and I’d better begin to find my timing or I could be in for some rough days. My cardio is coming along nicely and I’m finding my wind, however, my timing and consistency are behind were they should or would normally be at this point.
Over the coming weeks I’ll give you an inside look at my training…the good, the bad and the ugly. Come along with me as I prepare for my fight in six weeks.done
Leadership lesson: You have to have faith that things will turn out the way they are suppose to!
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